when i lay my head down

and close my eyes

something terrible

lingers behind me

it goes under my bed

in my closet even in the drawers

but its favorite place to hide?

the mirrors

it will have a staring contest with your worst thoughts

and always win

it will move things when i'm not looking

or even make the lights flicker

it’ll get into my head

through my eyes and ears

alter my reality into a watered down version

and force me to rely on my regrets to feel something

but i refuse

i refuse to let it get the worst of me this time

this time i’ll choose living

if being alive is ugly, daunting work, so be it

i'll fight hideously

 

i don't want to face my ghost

but i don't think i have a choice anymore

once you’ve loved

you’re never truly alone.